Wednesday, September 26, 2012

A little bit of everything

What makes us rare and beautiful?

There is a movie project that just ended called The Beauty Inside. Completely amazing to watch:


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I've been thinking a lot about people, about interaction. The sun was bright and warm once it got up in the sky, and I sat outside reading. I looked up and caught the eyes of someone I'd never met. We both smiled and he asked me how I was. It was a brief moment. A passing one.

Before that, as I was getting coffee from the Polar Perk, I was watching people as they walked, passing one another, some operating as if they were entirely alone. And I know some people feel that way as they tug on a bit of clothing, tuck a stray strand behind their ear. How self-conscious we all are.

How self-conscious I am! On October 5 I'll be doing a reading in front of my peers. I'm very nervous about this, for a few reasons. The first being that I lost a great deal of my writing in a coffee spilling incident that didn't leave enough of an impression to make me stop drinking coffee but has me obsessively saving everything I write. The second is that no one here, except for whatever committee accepted me, has ever seen anything I've written. I'm looking at it very critically now. Am I saying too much? Did I somehow put exposition into this poem? Is it good enough? Smooth Enough? Engaging? Fifteen minutes is too long to be in front of a crowd like this. And yet I read for nearly thirty minutes in a very similar situation without a problem. So what is my problem? I've never started getting so nervous so early before. Every time I think about it my heart panics a little more.

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I know I've been a little lacking with content control. I'm a little all over the place right now. I just wanted to say... I've been exercising. Regularly.

Okay, that's an over excited exaggeration. I've exercised two days in a row. Which I'm pretty sure has never happened ever, unless you count soccer and baseball practice as a kid. Which, frankly, doesn't count. Because I think I have about 100x more energy as an eight year old than I do now. But! I did do the elliptical thing today for 45 straight minutes and made it something like 3.7 miles. I felt pretty boss. Hopefully this makes up for all the drinking?... Ha.

(I'm not really alcoholic, guys. Jokes are fun.)

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