Perfect

Today, just now, my roommate told me the most Hilarious thing, "Just imagine if I'd come out perfect. I'd be insufferable. This way, at least God forces us to be smart."

Too true. I'm working on making myself into something I want to be. Intelligent but not condescending, in good physical shape so the stairs don't always best me, well-read, funny. In a class last evening a girl was trying to draw a parallel between not being able to have it all and reading every book in the canon. She asked why she should try that? What would it get her? Well, I'd rejoin with a very solid, Why Not? If you can try it, why shouldn't you? Especially when it comes to things like bettering yourself. This weekend I realized the only thing stopping me was myself. It's too hard, I'm tired, I can't concentrate, I'm not sleeping. All of those things are paltry excuses at best. If I can be happy and enjoy being myself, then that's what I'm going to do, and that's what I'm striving for now. Starting this week I've been exercising consistently. I like the feel of muscle burn. I feel like I'm getting somewhere. The results won't be immediate, but they'll be gratifying. I'll be doing the same thing for my brain. Reading things of actual relevance, actually reading for my classes instead of skimming and guessing.

Mostly I've been spurred by an article about new years resolutions and why they all fail. It's not about picking a starting time and telling everyone how much you're going to change. It's about just getting up and doing it. It's about making that change so hard and so well that other people actually notice something is different. So I've been waking up early and working out. From here on out I'm spending my free time a little more constructively. And I'm looking forward to it. There is no reason I can't relax in the pub with a few friends and have a pint, but there's also no reason I can't sit and read of book of poetry or criticism rather than the vacuous things I normally occupy my time with on the internet. So, here's to a new page. Literally and Figuratively.

I know. I'm not funny. I like to amuse myself anyway.